How to Annoy the Millefiore
by Blood Rose Vampiress
Summary: A list of sure-proof ways to annoy the hell out of any Millefiore you come across. Contains marshmallows.
1. Byakuran

**A/N:** Since people seem to like my other "How to Annoy" fics, I thought I'd make some for KHR, starting off the the Millefiore. And who better to come first but Byakuran? Hope you enjoy! (:

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><p><em><strong>How to Annoy Byakuran<strong>_

I am not responsible in any way for what happens if you do these things. I'm warning you now, so please don't come crying to me if you get marshmallows stuffed in your brain. Honestly, I thought you would have learned that by now, but I thought I'd remind you since no one was too happy after the cauliflower incident... but that's another story. If worse comes to worse, always carry ice cream sundaes in your pocket. Good luck!

1. Tell him all the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die.

2. Tell him you know a special way to make them without red-heads dying, and say you'll only do it if he sits through five hours each of _Barney _and _Sesame Street._

3. Laugh when he does so and tell him crazy psychopaths don't get marshmallows.

4. Have someone host a huge party away from the Millefiore base and tell all his subordinates it's an order from him to go.

5. When he asks where everyone is, tell him they all ran away because he's an albino.

6. Turn the Millefiore base into a daycare.

7. Ask if Levi is a good kisser.

8. Give him a pet tomato.

9. When he tries to eat it, scream that he's abusing his pet.

10. Tell him "Byakuran" means dirt in German and that's what his parents must have named him after.

11. Tell him taking over the world is "so last month".

12. Paint his room pitch black with random splatters of yellow and tell him it was to match the color of his heart and teeth.

13. Tell him marshmallows are now known to drain away people's powers and make them weak.

14. Ask him if he's turning 93 next year, while pointedly looking at his white hair.

15. Skip behind him for three days straight singing "When I'm evil" at the top of your lungs.

16. Tell everyone his favorite store is Victoria's Secret and make sure they all get him gift cards there for his birthday.


	2. Shouichi

**A/N: **Here's the next chapter. There are Byakuran/Shouichi mentions in here, so if you hate that pairing it's best you leave. 

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_**How to Annoy Shouichi**_

As in the last chapter, _How to Annoy Byakuran_, I am not responsible for anything that happens if you try these things. Do them at your own risk. I don't need any more charges, thank you very much. Best of luck, and don't forget those ice cream sundaes!

1. Tell him there's a new disease that causes people to smell like marshmallows. However this disease only affects people who sit at their laptops for many hours a day. Give convincing evidence.

2. Have a "doctor" examine him and tell him he's already infected with the disease.

3. Tell him the only cure is covering himself (when he's naked) in real marshmallows for an hour. (Again, get good evidence.)

4. When he does this, make sure Byakuran sees him sometime within the hour.

5. Tell him Zakuro decided to take a lava bath - in his room.

6. Every time he asks you to do something ask if he wants fries with that.

7. Somehow dress him up as a cute girl and get him to go within Glo's sight.

8. Call him constantly asking for pizza.

9. Put mistletoe over every inch of his ceiling and make sure he has a lot of visitors that day.

10. Make his screensaver cute dancing Byakurans.

11. Tell Byakuran he's hiding marshmallows somewhere in his room. (Note: This may also annoy Byakuran when he finds no marshmallows. Unless there _are_ marshmallows. Then we should question Shouichi's sanity.)

12. Give him a cute goldfish and tell him the chips are on the way.

13. Leave your dirty laundry outside his door with a note that says "Dry cleaning only."

14. Nod at everything he says, and when he's done talking go, "What did you say?"

15. Tell him the Blood & Peppers are in town and give him the location. Make sure the location is a strip club. And Byakuran's there.

16. Tell him you have something he needs urgently, and it can't wait. Make him come to your room immediately while you find it. Give him condoms.

17. Get him drunk, dress him in only a Santa hat, and lay him, tied up, in Byakuran's room on Christmas Eve. Put a note over his ..."area"... saying "Merry Christmas, here's your present!"


	3. Bluebell

_**How to Annoy Bluebell**_

Who in their right mind would want to annoy such a sweet, innocent little girl? Oh yeah, those who realize she isn't so sweet, innocent, or little. Remember, I'm not responsible for anything that happens when you try this, you do it at your own risk. Be careful or you may turn into fish food.

1. Put her anywhere near Zakuro.

2. Suggest that, since she's a "fish" she should be eaten.

3. Tell her that you won't believe she's a girl because she has no boobs.

4. When she insists she is, ask her to prove it.

5. Tell her Zakuro and Byakuran are dating.

6. Eat something very loudly in front of her, licking your lips every few seconds. Tell her you're eating mermaid.

7. Tell her Byakuran got married.

8. Tell her all the other Funeral Wreaths went on a mission, but she couldn't go 'cause she's too small.

9. Give her a tank of salt water for her birthday.

10. Put dead bluebell flowers all over her room.

11. Tell her Kikyo's more girly than she is. (He kinda is.)

12. Bake her a seaweed cake.

13. Whenever she wants to watch tv, put on a little kids show for her.

14. Have everyone remind her that she really should wear pants.

15. Put a head up in your room and tell her that it's a mermaid head, then tell her you hunt mermaids.

16. Give her a stuffed T. Rex and tell her if she doesn't hug it every day, it will come alive and kill her.

17. Tell her Byakuran set up an arranged marriage for her. Show her her new husband. At the aquarium.


	4. Zakuro

_**How to Annoy Zakuro**_

Once again, I am not responsible for anything that happens if you try these. So please don't go suing me if you get burned to a crisp. And if he erupts a volcano on you, remember the ice cream sundaes in your pockets.

...Oh wait, that may not help much...

Good luck!

1. Put him anywhere within a 2733 mile radius of Bluebell.

2. Tell him to heat your fireplace.

3. Ask him how many people he's cut with his chin.

4. Make him take Bluebell bra shopping.

5. Make him dinner with only tomatoes and peppers. When he asks why, tell him they're the only thing that matches his hair and you like color schemes.

6. Ask him constantly to burn people to death for you.

7. Make him babysit a fish.

8. Ask him if he thinks his baby(s) will have red hair or blue.

9. Put carrots on his head.

10. Give him a pamphlet on arsonism and tell him he should really go to a meeting on it.

11. Constantly and pointedly complain how it's too cold around him.

12. Tell him you want more sprinkles on your doughnut.

13. Blame him for the new fire that killed a man with white hair and a purple tattoo. And 12 newborn kittens.

14. Ask if he will steam the string beans.

15. Ask if he had a party on Mt. Fuji.

16. Tell him you can't find the red food coloring and look pointedly at his hair.


	5. Spanner

_**15 Ways to Annoy Spanner**_

Here are 15 ways to annoy Spanner. It's best to have many deformed lollipops on hand if something goes wrong or you may end up a mosca's lunch. But don't say I didn't warn you! I take no responsibility if you do any of these things!

1. Tell him his computer has rabies.

2. Use his mosca to cook a human being or something that could make a mess.

3. Steal his computer and put it in the freezer.

4. Replace all his lollipops with different, whole lollipops.

5. Ask him if he wants some ginger bread. If he says yes, give him Ginger Bread.

6. Tell him Shoichi ran away with Byakuran to elope.

7. "Accidentally" cut his bangs.

8. Paint a cow on his mosca.

9. Tell everyone he loves it when Iris uses her whip on him.

10. Host an inventory contest and purposefully pick the worst entry as the winner.

11. Take his lollipops hostage.

12. Give him an ant and insist he keep it with him at all times.

13. Call him Blondie.

14. Hack into his computer and program it so it sang some annoying song and cute little marshmallows danced across the screen whenever he clicked the mouse.

15. Ask him if he stole all of his inventing ideas, because someone already used them.


	6. Genkishi

**A/N:** Hey guys, so glad to see you're enjoying the fic! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, my writer's block seems to be occurring more and more frequently lately. But anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!

_**How To Annoy Genkishi**_

If you're unsure of where to find Genkishi in order to do these things to him, just look wherever Byakuran is. He's probably glued to him like a panda on an eucalyptus tree. ...Or was that a koala? Fuck, the point is he's probably drooling all over the evil genius. Once again, I don't take responsibility of anything that happens to you when using this, blah, blah, blah, bla- I'm pretty sure it's a koala.

1. Tell him he was a prime candidate to be featured on the cover of Swordsman Weekly, but they said they don't take guys with weird eyebrows.

2. Give him a pretty pink dress. With sparkles. Say it's from Byakuran and he would love if he wore it.

3. Make sure the whole base is gathered outside his room when he comes out with it on.

4. Steal his slugs and try to make them race.

5. Tell him Byakuran has a very special gift for him that expresses exactly how he feels. Give him a brussel sprout.

6. Tell him everyone else has come back from the dead except him.

7. Make him watch The Brave Little Toaster.

8. Sell him for a cabbage. Note: This _might _annoy Byakuran too. Just make him some delicious cabbage soup.

9. Tell him his slug is dating Gamma's fox.

10. Lock him in a potato room for eight hours with Gamma. Note: Be sure to put a video camera in there in case anything... _happens_... and give it to me afterwards.

11. Scream. When he asks what's wrong, tell him you just saw his face.

12. Ask him if he's gotten any... _results _from wearing that tight suit yet.

13. Hypnotize him into thinking he's a pretty princess.

14. Ask him why he has sperm on his face.

15. Offer to get rid of the eyebrow-eating monsters under his bed for him.


End file.
